Whether you are in a new relationship or a long-term relationship, married or courting, or even single and seeking to step back onto the scene… This post is for you. I am in the best relationship I’ve ever been in, and some of the reasons I think our relationship is so healthy is listed below. This is not only for you, but for me as a reminder to myself as I travel this journey with my hunk of love.
COMMUNICATION
Since the first time I talked to my now boyfriend, we were both always open books. He is a communicator and a word connoisseur so talking to me and speaking his mind is just his nature. I’m more introverted and like to process things and digest it…. I’m not much of a talker. He is working on changing that. He is super patient with me and pushes me to speak what I’m thinking. This has allowed us to know each other on more of an intimate level because we have scratched just a little more than the surface. Open up to your significant other and let your guard down a little more each time until you feel comfortable enough to communicate freely.
PATIENCE
This is all a learning curve and it definitely helps when your significant other is patient with you as you learn about things you may want to push your significant other to work on within the relationship. My boyfriend has experienced so much life that he’s super patient with me and not much surprises him. He says that most of our issues are cosmetic and can be worked through.
KEEP IT INTERESTING
Don’t just settle for Netflix and chill each time. Get out of the house! See what events are near and when. Scope out some dope low-key entertaining spots that you both like. Learn how the other person likes to have fun. My boyfriend and I are both outdoorsy so we frequent the park and downtown area and walk and talk about life. We are both also competitive so we thoroughly enjoy places with challenging games.
DON’T GET TOO COMFORTABLE
It’s cool that you feel so super comfortable with your boo that you would rather greet him/her in sweatpants and sneakers, and that’s completely fine!! I just think it helps and keeps his/her mind racing when you give him/her a little reminder of what you are really capable of ever once in a while. Spice it up, keep them guessing!
FLIRT….A LOT
I think a big reason to why my boyfriend and I are doing so well is because we have a chemistry that is just electric and we’ve captured each other’s minds in so many ways. I miss him anytime I’m not around him and just want more of his time and attention. Don’t be scared to flirt and show PDA. Whatever your love languages are express them.
BE ROMANTIC
He is such a gentleman and is so respectful of me and my feelings and concerns over my well being. He makes me feel romanced with his words. He tells me things like, “your beauty is aggressive”…. He pulls my chair out for me, opens doors for me, he buys me flowers because I love then so much, he never let’s me walk to my car unattended….. The list goes on. But I say this to say, chivalry is not dead and there are simple, free, or inexpensive romantic things you can do for your significant other that may mean the world to them.
DATE EACH OTHER
Me and him have big visions and don’t want to just settle. If it can be done it will be. We spend time together no matter what it takes. We live in a small city so it’s not much to do but we communicate and plan what we are going to do and we do it. Don’t bore your person with laying on their shoulder every night…. Go out and double date, play something competitive! You’ll appreciate each other so much more when you get out and collect some laughter and memories.
INVITE THEM INTO YOUR WORLD
Allow them to meet your family and friends as soon once you feel they are into you enough. Get insight from your support system on what they think about your person. Get insight from your person on what they think about the people in your world and how comfortable they feel around them. That’s a pretty important factor on your relationship. My boyfriend and I are constantly in group settings and it has actually brought us closer because we are able to see how we each interact within our element.
CHASE YOUR DREAMS TOGETHER
Support AND chase your dreams together. Tell each other what you both aspire to do. Assist them in achieving them. Be their number one fan. Sometimes relationships fail because the significant other didn’t believe in them and support them. Remember that you are holding both of yourselves back from leveling up because you refuse to lift them up. This is a leading factor in my relationship because my boyfriend is the hardest worker I’ve ever seen. I’ve actually witnessed it! He eliminated every excuse I could ever have just through the life that he lives. He works so hard and still has time to pursue his dreams. It is so inspiring to watch and witness!!! Below is a picture of me and him when I came to support his first fashion show that he executed from start to finish. It was amazing to see his vision executed from start to finish. I was so proud of him and so happy to be his.
He is a big factor in why I’ve been going harder for what I want out of life. For instance, I like traveling and want to do more with it. When I was on my trip to Vegas he coached me up on what I need to be doing, “take more pictures of the scenery instead of just pictures of you. We see you all the time. Show us the scenery. Do some free stuff and do some things that you can do there that you can’t do anywhere else!” Even though I was thinking “dang he sliced me” after that conversation, I realized he was so right and that I needed to expand MY horizons. Listen to their opinion!
SWITCH IT UP
Take some time to pick each other’s brains. We like to go back and forth and ask tough questions to learn more about the other person. Some of the questions I first asked him were,
- How do you communicate when you’re angry?
- What are your motives with me?
- What are your relationship goals?
- What do you think about me having a kid?
Don’t be scared to turn up the heat. If they can’t stand the heat they will get out. Take it at the pace you are comfortable with.
I could go on but I think this is a good stopping point. Comment below if you have any tips. Let me know how you are feeling about this post! Let’s enter this journey together!