Hello Friend,
This letter is a bit different in format because God has prompted me to share part of my testimony. God has been heavily convicting me of the appearance of a woman. I’m immediately drawn to 1 Timothy 2:9 “And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.” This will be the framework for this word. Deep breath in, Friend. We’ll get through this together.
I recently made a video ranting about how utterly saddened I was to see females that had no class. I never ended up posting it, because God convicted me. He revealed to me that I too carried myself in the same manner. Striving for attention and affection, I also carried myself in ways that are more unfathomable. Not everyone is at the same place of growth in their spiritual journey. We all need grace to make the decision to find our way back to our true identities in Christ. God had to pry me away from my past lifestyle and taught me how to live a new one.
RENEW YOUR MIND
Transformation didn’t happen overnight. It started in my mind. He convicted me of the lie I was living by showing me the truth found in His Word, The Holy Bible. Then I began to look at myself the way God saw me. I began to be transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2, Ephesians 4:23). You see, most long term transformations are transformations that began by a mind shift. Our bodies typically follow what our minds think. So when we change our minds, we change our actions.
DISCOMFORT
After I experienced a complete transformation by understanding the way God cared about my appearance, I began to experience some discomfort. You see, even though we may change our minds, we are used to certain patterns and ways of living via the habits we’ve created. So naturally, I was still “doing me” when it came to my appearance. I was still dressing vulgar, still vying for attention, and still going places I had no business going. The issue was, all of a sudden I started to feel a little discomfort. All of a sudden, I felt like I was being looked at in a way that no longer felt comfortable. But wasn’t that the attention I wanted all along? What was happening? Why now? The only thing that changed was my mind, right? Wrong!!! The Holy Sprit began to do a work in me. I was being renewed.
THE BATTLE BETWEEN FLESH & THE SPIRIT
Naturally, when you want to change your habits, your flesh is going to fight your spirit. Your flesh is going to want to cling to what comes natural to you, what’s convenient, what you’ve known all this time, what takes no think-work. Your flesh doesn’t want “new” unless it adds to a fleshly craving. When God began to transform me into my new modest appearance, I felt like I was losing myself. Because I was. I was losing my pride. I was losing my lustful desires. I was losing my desire to be in the spotlight. The hard part about it was, I didn’t think I’d have anything left. I honestly felt like I was becoming bland. I felt like everything I knew was being stripped away and at a rapid pace at that. It was a constant battle as I continued to try to hold onto my old patterns, but was then left feeling more displaced trying to do the same things I used to do. So I did the only thing I felt was right. I surrendered. Then the real transformation came.
TRANSFORMATION
Since the Holy Sprit would no longer allow me to feel comfortable wearing and doing the same things I used to do, I had to learn what was comfortable. I recognized that sexual attention was something that I only wanted from my future husband. I began to cover up, but with a high sense of fashion. Just because I was renewed, didn’t mean I had to look dull, right? Modesty doesn’t have to be boring. It’s actually quite a fun hobby to play with. Modesty has taught me that not only does it make me feel comfortable, but it also makes the Holy Sprit within me comfortable. Ephesians 4:30 tells us not to grieve the Holy Spirit. We grieve Him by knowing the way of obedience and choosing to go the opposite direction. Being transformed is definitely a process that takes practice and obedience. Though I had a lot stripped away from me, I also gained so much more. I gained my integrity, my dignity, my comfort, a new confidence, and most of all: peace. Peace that surrounded my understanding. Not only was I at peace within myself, but my mind began to become clear. I no longer cared what type of attention I was getting, because I was no longer portraying myself in a negative light.
So why not opt for peace that comes from God by accepting the true identity God is calling you to. I guarantee you that you’ll gain a different type of glow, a different peace, a different respect for yourself, and a different fulfillment. What if you truly learned how beautiful you were in God’s eyes and actually started to read the Love Letter He wrote specifically for you? What if?
I feel it’s time for you to step into the call in your life. You’ve been bound in the chains of what the world says you should be for so long. It’s time for you to rise up on wings like eagles and fly!!! God did not call you to be bound in these chains, Friend. He wants you to SOAR! He wants you to be individual, empowering, fruitful, intelligent, caring, humble, pure, and lovely.
God is taking us a new direction going forward because we are finally rising up and taking our steps into our purposes. Drop the club gear, grab your nearest Lillie Street sweatshirt, and walk boldly into the season God is calling you to. I’ll see you there.