Friend,
I just want to congratulate you on your singleness. You are probably in the best position you could possibly be in right now. I know you are probably not feeling this way….. Especially when you see all these lovey dovey couples around you seeming to be living their best lives, meanwhile your texts and DMs are dryer than the desert. I’m with you, Friend. But let me encourage you, because you have so much in favor for yourself in your single journey. Let me break it down like this……
In your singleness you can:
LIVE FOR YOURSELF
When you’re in a relationship, “compromise” is going to become a word that you will have to really get comfortable with, and Friend, THAT’S UNCOMFORTABLE!!! Ina relationship, you can’t always do what you want to do when you want to do it, and your plans tend to take a backseat until they align with your union. When you’re single, you get to do what you want, when you want, without having to worry about someone’s feelings. Take this time to not worry about anyone else’s feelings and needs but yours. This is the time to LEARN yourself, because once you make a commitment to someone else, you will be looking after the two and not the one.
PURSUE YOUR DREAMS WITHOUT PRESSURE
When you’re single, you have the freedom to come and go as you please, dream harder, and work harder. You have more than enough time to devote to what YOU want out of life. Your desires are not split in this season, and you don’t have to worry about what someone else thinks about what you desire to do. You don’t have to be concerned about tweaking your aspirations to appease your significant other.
THERE ARE LESS DISTRACTIONS
Think about when you go to church alone and your full attention is on the service, the word, and God. Now think about when you are in a relationship and you have hot stuff sitting next to you through service….. Your thought pattern is a little different, right? Your attention span to the sermon has shifted a little hasn’t it? Ultimately, you are truly able to focus on what you need to focus on better when you are single, versus when you are not. It works the same way in life. Stay focused on your dreams, your relationship with the Father, and elevating your mind.
FREE FROM RELATIONAL TRAUMA
Most of us have dealt with some form of relational trauma. If they are not cheating on you, they are playing games with your emotions, too busy to spend time with you, or worse. When you are single, you have peace of mind, because you don’t have to worry about those problems. Period.
SAVE MONEY
Friend, dating is EXPENSIVE, am I right? Depending on how expensive your taste is, dating can put a lot of financial strain on a new relationship. Heck, it may even put the relationship on the line just based off of the pressure to outperform. Singleness gives you financial relief, in the sense that you only have your mouth to feed and your bills to pay. Take this time to get yourself more financially stable because when you finally day “I do”, you will be signing up for much more than their heart.
FREE TIME
Free time in my single season was one of my favorite things to have, because I love my “me time”. When you are single, you don’t have to worry about devoting your time to someone else. All that time is yours, Friend!!! Go spend it!!! Pamper yourself. Go out and date by your darn self!!! (Lol)
GET YOUR PRIORITIES IN ORDER
Devote your single time on focusing on what matters to you the most, and strive to get your life in order. When you’re in a relationship, your priorities can tend to get off track as your significant other begins to take precedence.
KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS IN CHECK
There’s this video that I saw on Facebook. It was this girl that was upset, because guys kept coming into her life and doing her wrong. She explained that she just grew her edges back, and then here they came ruining her life again!!!! She went on to explain that they needed to leave her alone. I feel her 100%. I don’t know about you, but I am sick and tired of getting my heart broken. Take this time to find some peace, pray, and begin to create boundaries that will help you to discern the right partner in the future. Learn your likes and dislikes, and be thankful that no one has the opportunity to break your heart in this season.
Paul said this:
“But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.”
1 Corinthians 7:7-8 NLT
We were not all meant to be married. Once we accept this, it will make it a lot easier to weather the journey of singleness. There is BEAUTY in singleness, Friend! Regardless if you are single or pursuing someone, devote yourself to God and yourself, so that when that mate finds you, you are whole and ready.